I'm not sure if it's the fresh new haircut that I got yesterday, or if it's my sensitive side that got me invited, but I got to be the only dude at Girls Night last night.
The picture pretty much speaks for itself. I was the fox in the hen house. I listened carefully and took good notes on what women talk about when the men aren't around. I know this is one of the mysteries of mankind, and I now hold the answers as a trusted insider. I'm going to share this with you Dadthzs, because I know you already have top level US government clearance and can be trusted:
- Rifles vs. Shotguns vs. Pistols vs. BB guns = What is the difference and which is the better option for squirrels on bird feeders? Is there one universal gun that can handle squirrels AND muskrats? If so, why would anyone ever need more than 1 gun? CeCe wants to kills squirrels and muskrats from her back porch. Stacy has already taken a gun safety course. Why do men shoot deer when they are so cute?
- Speaking of deer, did you know breeding deer is big business? Humans harvest semen from large bucks and sell it to game farms to breed bigger deer. Jodi grew up on a farm where they artificially bred dairy cows. She knew all about the process and explained in great detail. I felt like I was in sex-ed class and was grateful they couldn't see me blush through my red hair.
- There is a difference between an amateur saxophone and a professional saxophone.
- How long does it take an 80,000 pound tractor-trailer to stop when going 60 mph? Wet or dry road conditions and weather conditions are contributing factors in calculating this, as well as weight of vehicle. (Dadthzs, JuJu is a real nerd.)
- Our country needs to put a stop to distracted driving.
- Kids vs. grand kids. Grand kids won hands down.
- Furkids. We took the silver medal. Adult kids took the bronze, even though all of the adult kids discussed sound like really good people.
- Cancer sucks. That was unanimous.
- Eyelashes do grow back after chemo, and there is some magic potion that helps them grow back thicker.
- Women over 40 sometimes pee their pants a little, especially when they sneeze or exercise. It's embarrassing for them, not to mention inconvenient. There is a medical procedure that fixes it & it only takes a half hour under light anesthesia. There is a guinea pig in the group who just went through the procedure, but her identity is super top secret clearance that I need to keep to myself.
- Why would anyone take the time to make a pot pie crust from scratch when Marie Calendar does such a nice job making the whole thing?
- You can freeze Habanero peppers in a baggie, straight from the garden, and they last all winter.
- The multiple meanings of the word "ass", and why it's confusing for people who are learning English as a second language. The definition is not just "butt" or "donkey." For example, a "smart ass" does not mean you're smart, or that your donkey is smart; but a "dumb ass" means you are dumb. People don't really "get their ass handed to them." A "bad ass" is actually a compliment, and not bad.
- This last topic concluded the evening and I suspect the laughter that accompanied this was a combination of the humor and the wine.
Have a great weekend Dadthzs. It's warming up here and I think we are going to spend some time outside. I hope the snow has melted enough this week so that we can go back to walking the lake while the ice is still thick. I don't want to walk on the road and mess up my new fluff and puff. (Ok, it just dawned on me - I got invited to Girls Night because I've got a little diva in my genes too).
Paws,
Bruiser
PS: Hill-Murray vs. White Bear in boys hockey section final tonight at Aldrich. Winner goes to state. I don't know what any of that means, but I heard JuJu talking about it so I thought I'd share since you are a WBL alumnus. I think grandpa is going to the game tonight and cheering for Hill-Murray since Charlie plays for them. Blood is thicker than alumni.
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